I stopped by a newsstand in the airport some years ago and noticed a headline on a woman’s magazine that offered the “Top Ten Lines to Attract Men.” This caught my eye—not just because of the interesting gender-reversal, but because I had been thinking about a series of interviews I’d recently conducted for a sales position. Throughout my interviews, I had been peppered with replies that made me realize a lot of books have been sold with prepared answers, and that these were being used by the less-than-qualified candidates.

Originally, I thought that a later article on my experience would focus only on those minor untruths used on recruiters as self-promotional fodder. However, as I got further into it, my final list includes a few lines that you may hear as employees, as well. It seems we all misrepresent on occasion, both as companies and as employees.

Here is a short list of those common misrepresentations and exaggerations which seem harmless enough that they get repeated. Read it while in a lighthearted mood and have fun with them. And if you think of others, send them to me!

“My major weakness? I guess it must be that I sometimes work too hard. I’ve got to learn to spend more time on other aspects of my life.”

Translation: “I’ve just finished reading all the books that I could find on interview preparation, and I’ve got a really snappy answer for you.”

This “greatest weakness” question is a tired (almost prehistoric) interview question, but it keeps getting asked for some reason. And the same overused response continues to come back, almost as if this is the expected reply in the back-and-forth game we call the job interview. But if you are a hiring manager, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction when you hear this from a candidate—not only does that interviewer doubt your intelligence, but he’s also simply winging it.

For candidates, note that “canned” interview responses like this one are as easy to spot as the applicant wearing a big hand-painted Jerry Garcia tie.

“I’m so surprised to hear of your resignation. Just last week the Director and I were speaking about you and had planned a promotion that would have been effective next week.”

Translation: “Wow, am I embarrassed. I hadn’t planned for your departure and it is going to be a really difficult conversation with my boss when I try to explain why I have no Plan B to fill your position once you are gone.”

Imagine their surprise when you turn in your notice. It may be a surprise to them, but don’t be shocked when the boss comes back at you with a very attractive offer to stay. Just don’t be tempted to accept. That’s because most people find that their seeds of dissatisfaction are still present months later. A few extra bucks or a promotion won’t salve over the real problems that you have been experiencing and which put you into the job market in the first place.

For employers, find a better way to express your surprise at a valued colleague’s departure. Consider bidding them a fond farewell without a special inducement to stay, as not everyone rocks the boat simply to be rewarded for doing so. Most importantly, get them into an honest discussion of what went wrong so that you can avoid this scenario with your other key staff.

“Once we get this project completed, we’ll all rest easy and perhaps get into a regular 40-hour work week.”

Translation: “Come in early, stay late. On Friday, we’ll celebrate!”

The forty-hour work week for salaried employees is becoming more and more of a rarity as time goes on. Whether in the lab, the manufacturing plant, or the executive office, your employer values you for your hard work and your seeming ability to work incredibly long and hard hours.

If you have the goal of someday having a “real job with real hours,” you are likely going to be disappointed. Companies “right size” often nowadays, and this usually means that fewer people end up doing the work of many. Salaried employees are the ones who pick up the slack.

“Don’t worry about the size of the base salary. Our offer includes stock options. We could end up being another Google.”

Translation: “We’re trying to lure you in as cheaply as possible, and hope that you’ll give up short-term needs in favor of a long-term roll of the dice.”

Startups and growth firms are exciting places to work, and I don’t want to diminish the value of stock options as one of the key attractors. Those options are an important part of company team-building and an integral part of the culture of some industry sectors, as in technology or life sciences. But the way that some companies wield them, it is as if they are to replace a person’s need to eat and pay the mortgage.

Long term incentives have their place, but they are not a replacement for a competitive salary offer. Ensure that you do your homework on what a base compensation and bonus package should look like before you begin salivating over what could happen with the stock options when the company is acquired or goes public. It’s just a sweetener and not the reason you go to work each day.

“Salary range and benefits don’t really matter to me. I’m looking for a career opportunity. The job comes first for me.”

Translation: “I’m interviewing everywhere I can, and when I’m done with the process, I’ll choose the offer with the highest salary.”

This is a line of BS that all my recruiter friends will recognize, because headhunters run into it all the time. It’s so easy to simply state that compensation isn’t the reason you are making a career move . . . and it may feel true at the time you say it. But each of us also has a range of required income, and it’s critical to be straight about that when you are in the final discussions with a recruiter or a hiring manager. The candidate who masquerades that this important issue is not important sends a loud warning signal to professionals on the other side of the desk. That’s because they’ve likely been fooled by this same comment in the past and have seen the “perfect hire” go sideways because these compensation requirements weren’t brought forward earlier in the discussion.

Communication about compensation to the recruiter, your link to a potential new employer, should be straightforward and direct — with a minimum of gamesmanship.

“I know that the company is not doing well and that there are bound to be layoffs. But, I want to stick around until after they pass out the severance packages. It would be a lot easier to have an extra six months of cash in the bank if I’m looking for a job.”

Translation: “I’m really scared of making a change. I’ve been here so long that I’d rather wait to be pushed out of the nest than to even think about leaving on my own.”

It isn’t company loyalty that keeps people glued in their seats during stormy times. The number one reason people will stay in bad situations, despite the signs that appear all around them, is a fear of change. Recruiters learn early on that some employees develop job gridlock that keeps them immobile despite sensible reasons to look elsewhere. This typically happens to people after six or seven years with the firm.
Don’t discount the signs of a sick company just because it’s a lot of work to look outside for another role. All your job competitors will get there ahead of you.

“I left the company and am currently consulting.”

Translation: “There has been a layoff and I got caught in the crossfire. Right now I am unemployed and seeking a new job.”

I see this all the time. People put “consultant” as their present position on their résumé; it’s supposed to mask the fact that they were laid off months ago. Of course, it will be understood immediately by all employers who will realize that you’ve been buffeted around in the job market since then.

Real consultants, or anyone who uses this as a present job on their paperwork, need to ensure that examples of consulting projects are highlighted on the document, or even an addendum that describes these. A general overview of your consulting practice, or even a brochure or capabilities sheet, would be a great addition to your resume when considering a full-time position once again.